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Are You Addicted to Hopeium?

wendy perrotti

I’ve always been a hopeful person.

 

I believe that hope gives me the tenacity to traverse life’s rough patches, and there’s some pretty solid evidence to back that belief up.

 

One of the most cited studies on hope took place in the 1950’s. Curt Richter, geneticist/biologist/psychologist at John Hopkins, conducted some rather gruesome research (it involved drowning rats).

 

Richter discovered that rats placed in a cylinder of water from which there was no escape would drown rather quickly even though they’re generally strong swimmers.

 

That surprised him.

 

So he got another bunch of rats and this time, took them out of the water at the point of exhaustion and then quickly placed back in. Those rats continued to SWIM FOR OVER 60 HOURS.

 

That’s two and a half days!

 

Richter’s conclusion, “after elimination of hopelessness, the rats do not die.”

 

Chalk one up for hope.

 

Unfortunately, those hopeful little rats were still eventually going to drown because it was physically impossible for swimming to save them from that situation.

 

I’m not trying to be a downer here – I truly do believe that hope is a superpower. But, like every superpower, it has its kryptonite.

 

John Assaraf calls it the HOPEIUM addiction.

 

What turns hope (and it’s partners, tenacity and grit) into hopeium?

 

Assaraf says it’s making wishes without taking actions.

 

While I wholeheartedly agree, I’ve rarely met a woman who believed she could simply wish her way into anything. I do, however, often see a different variety of hopeium addiction, one that’s more in line with those poor doomed rodents.

 

It looks like this.

 

trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying

 

gasp

 

trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying

 

You may be wondering, ‘What makes all that trying a hopeium addiction and not the magic combination of hope, tenacity and grit?’

 

Attachment.

 

Hope, tenacity and grit continuously point us toward “better” and “better” has infinite forms. When we’re hopeful and tenacious, we’re also agile.

 

A hopeium addict on the other hand, is attached to “better” looking one specific way, blinding them from the possibility of other ways forward.

 

The bottom line?

 

For hope a superpower rather than an addiction…

It requires action.

It’s detached from any one specific outcome.

It always looks at the biggest possible picture of what might constitute “better.”

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I've been guiding people through life's toughest transitions—like career shifts, evolving relationships, retirement, grief, and loss—long before 'life coaching' became a household term.

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