Leaning in to your biggest life

Poor Fear, she really gets a bad rap most of the time.

Granted, she is the ball and chain that keeps you shackled from exploration, adventure, and living the life you dream about. So, I do understand why you’ve been fighting with her all these years – but the truth is, Fear is not your enemy.

The more you try to ignore her or push her away, like any scorned lover, she becomes more and more desperate for your attention. The more you fight her, the more she tightens her grasp.

She is frantic to protect you, to keep you safe from danger and pain at all costs.

And she does.

She makes your hair stand on end when you’re in a dark parking lot as a reminder to lock your car door the moment you’re inside. She stops you from diving into water where the depth may be too shallow. She sets off an alarm in your gut that tells you when someone means you harm.

She’s probably saved your life more times than you can count.

She doesn’t understand that not all pain is dangerous or that emotional vulnerabilities are not life threatening. She protects you from situations where you may fail, feel embarrassed or get rejected with the same vigilance as she does when your life is on the line.

She loves you.

Let the fighting be over, It’s time to lay down the gloves.

This Week:
The heart to heart talk that will change your life.

1. Center yourself in the present moment by closing your eyes and focusing on your breath.

   Allow yourself a few moments to get into your body, feeling your muscles relax with each exhale.

1. Go inside and call Fear to you. Tell her it’s OK to come out; that you’re not angry.

   Look her in the eyes and thank her for protecting you for all these years.

   Share with her your hopes and dreams – the biggest things you want to achieve, experience, or conquer.

   Tell her that you know that there will be some bumps and bruises along the way, but that it’s worth it to you.

2. Embrace her and let her know that you’ve got this and that she can relax for a bit.

   Envision her telling you that this is all she ever wanted to hear from you, and that of course she wants everything you want.

3. Keep the lines of communication open. She won’t stay quiet for long.

   You’ll need to teach her which dangers are real and which dangers are only perceived.

   Whenever you feel her getting riled up, gently remind her that it’s OK, that you want to try this new thing.

And when the bumps and bruises do come, show them off to her like trophies, proof that you’ve achieved the next level in the game of life.