Can You Be Too Thankful?
Last week, I wrote to you about using a new perspective to find gratitude in times where you feel anything but.
I told you the story of how a crepe paper flower taught me that no matter what, I’ll be ok, and it turned out to be one of the greatest lessons of my life. (Read it here if you missed it.)
I told you that when life gets hairy, I tell myself "it’s ok" and then look around me to find the things that make that true.
I’ve always considered myself a pretty happy person because of it.
But it’s not the whole story.
Sometimes, "thankful" – and this was the case for me – also becomes a place of complacency.
In gratitude, it’s possible to hide from what we fear most, and not even recognize that we’re hiding.
I was taught to be thankful, to be polite, to be humble.
"Think of those who have it harder – and be thankful for what you have."
This is an important lesson about making the best of it, about finding happiness within.
Still, I discovered that it was easy to take it too far.
When I was in my early 40s, I had everything I needed and much of what I wanted.
I was happy but I began to notice that something was missing. I felt hollow and alone.
I wanted more and the wanting made me feel guilty – ungrateful for all that I had.
So, for about 5 years, I squashed it down.
I told myself that I was grateful and happy and ok – and I was – but the hollow feeling grew and began to undermine everything else.
It was Marianne Williamson’s famous quote that made me begin to think differently.
"It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?"
My gratitude had turned into complacency.
My beautiful life was a half-life, not because there was anything wrong with it but because I was holding back the full expression of who I was.
In truth, I had absolutely NO idea what a full expression of myself would even look like.
I knew what I wanted to keep in my life, I knew what I didn't want for my future, but I didn’t have a clue about what I was meant to be doing.
I just knew that I had to start doing it.
This Week: A Fully Expressed Life
It's so easy to dial back what you're yearning for because you believe you have enough.
It's a reflex for many of us to feel guilty about wanting more - whatever that more consists of.
And there is NEVER anything wrong about being grateful for and happy with what you have. In fact, that's the most powerful foundation there is.
BUT...
If you're looking forward into 2021 and something is tugging at you,
If you there's something that you've wanted for a long time that you've become complacent about,
If there's a hollow feeling that you can't quite put your finger on,
Perhaps your fully expressed life is calling to you.
Here's how to answer:
Start with a vision board. (There are a million ways to create one, google it - or join our visioning workshop - details below.)
Use your vision board to create a starter goal. One step at a time here - make it SMALL.
Create a visioning practice where you tap into a picture of what your fully expressed life might look like. Simply close your eyes and conjure your best life. Sit with it just long enough to feel a smile creep up on your face or a little lump form in your throat. Then let it go. Do this once each day.
Share YOUR vision with me by replying to this email. I love hearing from you!