The Doorbell Rings...

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m so grateful you’re here.

Before you come in…

Know that I’m not perfect. My house is not perfect, and the dinner certainly won’t be.

Please leave your judgement at the door.

There are people in here with whom you might have a history.

As you enter, kindly let go of the expectation that they show up any differently than they have in the past.

I know that on occasions such as this one, things that folks say and do may make you feel like you’ve not done enough or achieved enough – that you yourself are not enough. Please hear me on this…

You are always enough.

You are always welcome here.

Here, you are loved for all you are, not for all you think you should be.

There has been so much talk about masks lately and the impact they have on our ability to connect fully with one another.

It’s ironic.

The masks that actually keep us apart are the ones we’ve been wearing for decades.

We wear them to defend ourselves from judgment, and in doing so become judgmental.
We wear them to hide our weird, icky bits, and as a result we don’t feel seen.
We wear them to appear as the person we think you expect us to be. And this, by default, creates our expectation of who we think you should be.

What if this Thanksgiving, we try to see others as we ourselves would love to be seen – as loving, fearful, weird, brilliant, wholly vulnerable creatures trapped behind masks of our own making?

What if you left your mask at the door?

That may feel dangerous.
Especially if some of those around the table have a history of behaving badly or hurtfully.

Here’s the truth.

When we let go of the mask, setting boundaries around bad behaviors becomes easier.

Did I mention that there are people around this table who may voice opinions with which you passionately disagree?

All ideas or opinions delivered thoughtfully and with respect are welcome here.

Disrespectful behavior of any kind will be ushered to the door and asked to remain outside atop the pile of masks.

Do take off your mask.
Be yourself.
I'm truly grateful to SEE you.