Make What You Say Matter

YOU’VE GOT SOME SPLAININ’ TO DO

My son just told me that he signed up for an accelerated section of an already challenging course (he’s a junior in college) because it was the only section of that course that a particular professor was offering this semester.

I asked why having that professor was so important.

“He says in one sentence what other people take 15 minutes to say,” is Max’s answer.

It made me think.

Since Max was little he’s been frustrated by my long explanations of things. In fact, when he was five, he told me that I should write a book and title it “The Big Book of Really Long Explanations.”

I’m a fan of talking.

And in truth, I’ve been known to occasionally think with my mouth.

It got me thinking about something I read in Chip and Dan Heath’s book The Power of Moments…

We generally think about what we want to tell someone – how to best explain it – without giving much consideration to what we want them to actually get out of it.

The example the Heath’s give is how one might go about planning a course:

You begin with a topic.
You consider all the relevant information that needs to be covered.
You consider the time you have to deliver that information.
You break the information into chunks (lessons, explanations, etc.)

Think about how much of the information you share every day falls somewhere into that structure. More often than not conversations that require an explanation turn into a free-for-all at number 2.

What would happen, asks the authors, if you started with the question “what’s the one thing I want this person to remember about this conversation/lesson/course 5 years from now?”

We’d probably communicate most things differently, and in the process, elevate the relevance and enhance our relationships to boot.

I know Max will appreciate it. 😉

This Week: Start with the end in mind.

The next time you find yourself getting ready to EXPLAIN something, ask yourself:

What to I really want this person to take away from this?
If they were going to remember something about this conversation forever, what would I want that to be?

Don’t overcomplicate, just try playing with it a bit and see how it shifts your conversations.

And as always, reach out and let me know how your experiment goes.

BIG Love –

Wendy