The church on the corner of the town green has a sign out front this week. It reads, “No, it’s not as hot as hell.”

I beg to differ.

The first floor of my house feels like a sauna.

It makes me VERY cranky – and not just because it’s hot.

Our home is a 1920s craftsman bungalow we recently purchased from an estate.

“I can only see what I can see,” said the home inspector, “and without information from the previous owner, there can be a lot wrong here.”

He suggested a 2-year home warranty (insurance policy) which we researched and then purchased.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve spent a LOT of money on insurance over the years. Until now, I’ve rarely needed to use any of it.

Within the first 6 months of living in our charming little bungalow, the insurance company had already paid out more than we spent on the policy.

We were relieved.

The temperatures rose, (we bought in the winter) and we discovered that the air conditioner zone for the 1st floor doesn’t work.

The warranty company stopped taking our calls.

Fair play and honoring commitments are core values for me, so I have been relentless in my pursuit of justice. This is exactly what insurance is for, right?

Here’s the thing.

It takes a lot of energy to be hot.
It takes a lot of energy to be angry.
It takes a lot of energy to fight this fight.

And right now, it’s worth it to me. As I said, fair play is an important value.

But each day that goes by, I remind myself to re-evaluate.

What is this fight costing me?

When something – anything – is attached to your values, it’s natural to behave in alignment with them, to honor your identity.

And yet, it’s completely possible to take it all too far.

• Claire who is loyal to her company stays in a job she hates because it never feels like the right time to leave.

• Louise loves “her people” and loves to entertain them well. She will always welcome you to her home with a big spread of all your favorite foods – even when she’s exhausted, broke, and you’d be just as happy to bring a pizza to her.

• Kara values being the most prepared person at the table and people respect her for it. But she often puts in unnecessarily late nights that take her away from other values like having dinner with her family.

So, how do you know?
When do you lean into your values and identity and when is it ok (or even best) to let it go?

The answer comes with three little words.

AT ALL COSTS.

Wendy, will you fight for what you believe is fair?
Hell yes.

Will you do that at all costs?
Hmm. Probably not.

It’s so important to recognize what you value and what’s important to you about what you put out into the world.

But it’s equally important to recognize when doing so moves you further from, rather than closer to what you’re after.

We’ll see how hot I get.