I don’t know about you, but I spent far too much of my first 40 years worrying about what I looked like.

From my earliest days I have been called beautiful, ugly, fat, sexy, a dog, pretty, curvy and gross…sometimes on the same day. Couple that with all the messages we were fed about how important it was to be pretty (and thin) and it made for a rough few decades.

I’m guessing some of you have been there too?

For the past ten years, (through A LOT of hard work) I’ve gotten less and less obsessed. Don’t get me wrong, it still creeps in – just not as often, not as intensely, and it usually passes within a few moments.

It’s not magic. It’s better now because I’m intentional about the narrative I allow to play out between my ears.

I’m hoping that some of you can relate to this as well.

We’ve gotten wiser.

So why are we letting ourselves get sucked into the comparison trap of “This is what 50 looks like”???

Model Paulina Prozikov recently posted two reels on Instagram; one with professional makeup and one with no makeup. Both images were labeled “A 58-year-old face with nice light.” (She has posted many images from unflattering angles and in unflattering light as well.)

The abundance of cruel and critical comments FROM WOMEN blew me away – many of which focused on her looking considerably older than 58.

WTF?

Have we grown wiser or have we just traded the trap of apparent beauty for that of youth?

EVERYTHING on social media – whether we’re talking about beauty, youth, happiness or success is just a snippet of reality.

Of course you know that.

But tell the truth…how many of those snippets make you feel better or worse because of your relative thoughts about yourself?

It’s a complete illusion.

I have been fortunate to have guided hundreds of women through deep work over the years, and I can tell you first hand that WE ARE ALL MORE ALIKE THAN WE ARE DIFFERENT.

This week marked my 56th birthday and I was tempted to post 56 images of myself from every angle, in every light, with and without makeup to show how much of an illusion it all is.

I never really had to decide whether that would have been a good idea or not because, to be honest, I didn’t have the energy.

Instead I’m asking, Sisters please, stop comparing yourself. Stop comparing others. Do your best to look beyond what you think you see to everything else that may be there.

After all, as my grandmother never forgot to remind me, we all put on our pants one leg at a time.