Lesson's Learned

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It’s a Question of Candles…

wendy perrotti

LOVE, PURPOSE AND JOY

This weekend was Father’s Day and that got me thinking about the men that I love.

I want the same thing for them that I want for myself – to live a life filled with love, purpose, and joy – a life without limitations.

And it’s interesting…

When it comes to men, so many of us think that’s a no brainer. Of COURSE, they get to do that – they’re men.

They were praised for speaking up more than for being polite.

They were encouraged to ask for (or demand) what they wanted rather than taking what was offered with grace.

No one ever asked them to make a choice between a family and a career.

Right?

In many cases, yes. And yet, when I look at these men that I love, I see something else too.

I see that they were taught not to cry – to “man up” and take it if they got hurt.

I see that the same culture that taught us about being a “good girl” taught them that a “good man” PROVIDES for his family.

I see that the tv shows we grew up with showed men as either rock-star providers or buffoons lovingly manipulated by their savvy wives into “doing the right thing” when they just wanted to play golf, start a band or watch the game.

Yes, there are inequities…and those inequities are real. Yet I often wonder if we’re missing an opportunity as we address them in our own lives.

We want to be accepted and loved exactly as we are.

We hope to be supported in the pursuit of the life we feel drawn to.

And still, how often do we think that they need to change?  That what they want is not acceptable?

What happens when we think about this globally?

How different might our world be if we all strove to elevate all people regardless of gender or gender expression, or sexual orientation, or religion, or race, so that every life is a life without limitations? 

What would a world look like where we each felt free to carve out a life filled with love, purpose and joy?

What would happen if every human were living the life they were meant for?


“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, And the life of the candle will not be shortened.” – Buddha


This Week: What Would it Look Like If….

Let’s play a little game this week.

For the next seven days, ask everyone and anyone who cares to have a conversation with you the “Magic Wand” question. It goes like this:

“If I could wave a magic wand and guarantee you that you couldn’t fail – that you, and everyone, you care about would always have what you need (money, time, health, connection, etc…) what would you be doing with your time?”

Listen intently and without interruption.

At the end of the week, answer these questions:

What did you notice about the interactions?

What surprised you?

What, if anything, will you do differently now that you’ve had these conversations?

I love asking people the Magic Wand question, I hope you have fun with it too.

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I've been guiding people through life's toughest transitions—like career shifts, evolving relationships, retirement, grief, and loss—long before 'life coaching' became a household term.

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Seeing beneath the surface to help you identify and overcome limiting beliefs, reveal your unique strengths and potential, and dare I say, tap into your soul's own magic.


These life-stage transitions you're facing? They're like being handed both a blank canvas and a box of infinite possibilities. Yes, it can feel overwhelming.

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